Self Imposed Isolation

Proverbs 18:1-2 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment. A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.

Why is it that we isolate ourselves from others, especially when we need them the most? Perhaps it is because we have already isolated ourselves from God though, to others, it seems like we isolate ourselves from people first. There is a time when we can be withdrawn from others to spend time alone with God but this is not isolation. It is retreating from the influences and distractions from others to be with God and to hear from His.
Proverbs 18:1 seems to indicate that isolation is selfish because the one that isolates themselves on purpose is seeking their own desires. When we seek our own desires we stop seeking Gods. There are many reasons for isolation but the bottom line seems to be, “I want what I want.” And we stubbornly move away from anything or any one that interferes with that goal.
This attitude goes against our relationship with God because His desire is for that of others. He is “others” centered. We withdraw from Him, even though what we want to do is to withdraw from someone else. This is often an attempt to manipulate the situation for our advantage. Another reason we isolate ourselves is so that we don’t have to answer for our actions if those actions are adverse to relationships (which selfishness usually is)
We can be in a room with other people and isolate ourselves. Our attitude and posture puts people off. Then we are justified in our actions because then we can say, “They are not friendly or loving,” when in fact it is we who are unloving in our attempt to manipulate and get our way isolating ourselves from others, pouting as we go.
When approached about our self-isolation we often rage against the wise judgment that people want to give in order to bring us around to God’s way and at the very least draw us out of our self imposed isolation. That would mean that we would have to repent of our selfishness and wrong desires. We would have to admit to our childish stubbornness in having our own way.
Verse 2 goes on to say that the fool has no delight in understanding. That describes us when we want to stay in our sin and our isolation. Foolishly we resent and reject those that would bring understanding that will take us out of our self imposed isolation and sin. We would rather go on expressing our own heart. Our stubbornness and pride is more important that relationship no matter which way it is lost, with man or God.
Verse 12, expresses more of the problem, a haughty spirit. It says that before destruction. the heart of a man is haughty. To avoid destruction as well as isolation the heart has to become humble. This is a matter of choice. Many times it comes after a long time or at a very high price. It is only the humble heart that avoids destruction and it is a humble heart that welcomes friendship and seeks relationship. It is a humble heart that finds honor, not in and of itself but in the relationship it finds with God and others. It seems that the greatest honor is to be in a right relationship with God, free from selfish desires and the manipulation that goes with it. A humble heart is not necessarily shy or overly outgoing but it does seek fellowship, friendship and relationship, first with God and then his people.

The Multitude of Words

Proverbs 10:19-21 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; The heart of the wicked is worth little. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of wisdom.

Sin is found when too much is said. Sometimes we speak just to be heard, to be part of a conversation. We often say more than we need to because we enjoy the fact that someone is listening. We like the fact that we are getting attention. We need to learn to speak to the point and nothing more. The problem with a multitude of words is that it seems so easy to sin when there are so many words being spoken. We need to be careful of idle chatter that easily leads to gossip and backbiting. Many times what begins by discussing a problem ends up in a gripe session. When that happens we need to look to see if there is another problem which is a critical heart, but that is hard to see and many times even harder to confess.
He who restrains his lips is wise the writer says. We are wise even though others may not think that we are. It is often our own words that get us into trouble. If we restrain our tongue from saying wrong things then what people will hear most of the time will be right (wise) things. That way we become wise, not so much by what we do say but by what we don’t say.
The “silver tongue” of the righteous is not a derogatory term meaning that it is slick or just coated with silver but that it is truly valuable. People come to value what is said by those that live and speak with righteousness. What is said is not “so much chatter or rhetoric but it has purpose and helpful. The heart of the wicked only brings out things that are of little or no spiritual value. They may say all the right things but the discerning people around them can see that they are just so much words. The wicked heart has nothing but bitterness and criticism, hatred and strife and the bible says that out of the abundance of the heart speaks. If a heart is wicked it will not speak things that bring light, life or unity, instead it will speak things that have nothing of value in the kingdom of God. A critical heart speaks critical things.
What we want are lips that will feed many. We need lips that will speak things of value to the kingdom and edification to those that hear them. If our heart is good and we get our wisdom from God and seek the leading of the Holy Spirit then all our words be a beauty to others and a glory to God.
We need to consciously restrain our lips from speaking things that have no value and we will not only edify others but bring life and nourishment to them as well. We want to make our words such so that they are the source of life. Filling our heart with the Word of God and truly living it can accomplish all of this. Our wisdom and or words must come from God, our life validates what we say.

Oh God, cleanse our hearts from criticism, bitterness and strife. Please replace it with grace, humility and love so that our words would feed, heal and edify.